Values

During Lifegame, one discussion question thrown was this
‘Does godly values matter in this world?’

The youth had a lot of different point of views. Some gave conventional, morally correct answers. Some differ straight to the point. One particular teenager’s answer struck me….

‘Honestly, godly values are very difficult in this world. If you practice godly values, the world might get ahead of you. A lot of people get what they want using the worldly ways.
At the end of it all, the issue to ponder is this. Worldly values might matter in the world. And godly values matters in the kingdom of God. Ultimately, where do you set your heart?’

Open your eyes, God is here.

Just when I thought God had turned His phone to Silent Mode, I am reminded that it was me myself who got my surroundings too noisy and unable to hear my own phone ringing. Yea… many times, God speaks in a soft gentle whisper.

Thus far, 26 days into January of 2010, and an apparently less than happy new year, it’s actually not too bad. As I count my blessings, it’s not even bad. God is good…

A few things…

I was at the verge at screaming at God, 6th months already in solitude Slim River. WHAT? I am jaded, unmotivated, alone, bored, sick and tired. What…? I wanted answers from God, and I know I need to humbly seek Him. I began REHAB, or fasting. With a broken and contrite heart, I continue to seek Him…
God, You there?
Towards mid January, I got a phone call. Hospital Ipoh OS Department invited me back. In my heart, it was excitement + uncertainty. The vacancy was immediate. Unfortunately, my release isn’t. I only informed a handful of people because I wouldn’t want to get any hopes too high. I made the necessary phone calls and submitted the proper documents. There was a moment, I had the Whatever mentality… but as I ponder upon it, I want it. I want OS, I’d like to be in Ipoh. Whatever sounds terribly ungrateful. So, thank You Lord, may Your will be done. Not mine, but Yours =)

Then I was toying with the thoughts of getting ad-hoc dental part time jobs. For experiences and to kill time. Yes, I am late compared to my colleagues 😉 but it’s OK. Thoughts remained thoughts, and God knows I got a lazy bum. I never visited any clinics or called any boss for job offers. Not a single one.
One day, a clinic called and asked ‘Would you be interested to work in my clinic? Just cover for 1 or 2… or 3 days, according to what you can.’ On the phone I was playing cool and courteous, tho in my head Ngek ngek … shouldn’t I be the one to CALL YOU?? I thank God, for this is His work.

Monday, Wednesday, Monday, Wednesday… The constant Slim River Outpatients Warrior. Yours truly. Chronic Mondayitis is developing. Tiring…. but it’s still positively managable, until the boredom of hanging on, seeps in too. It was like, week after week of endless extractions, it seems like the teeth of the people tak habis-habis perlu CABUT. On 20 Jan, after seeing 30 patients non-stop in 3 hours, I crashed in front of the clinic’s PC, went into Facebook (don’t laugh), found Vern who happened to be online and I said…
‘I need a BREEAAAAAAKKkkKKK !! Like a holiday!!’
It was just a random rant. Again, God, it must be God (bless Him) showed me that I matter… The very same afternoon, HQ called to inform me that I should go to a 4-days Induction Course beginning 23rd. Very short notice indeed. YAY !!!~ because it’s going to be a mini gathering. More on this later.

The meaning and purpose of life, I seriously began to understand and appreciate, hung tightly upon relationships. The Cross is made up of the horizontal and vertical components. That’s God and people. People color my daily life. No people, no life… Therefore, sometimes i. m. robot.
That day, 22nd January, Nurul, age 5, came by my clinic again.
She looked around, quietly came to me and asked ‘Is the Dr still around?’
I told her ‘The Dr is gone la…’ Some staffs laughed.
Nurul looked relieved a bit.
She, of all people in my clinic, fearlessly took the seat across my desk and talked to me in children lingo which I can only understand about 40%.


Her mom was so embarrassed and quickly dragged her out. Nurul would run back into my office again. And I invited her to draw on my whiteboard.

She accidentally drew on the wall too =.=
People brings cheer to one’s life.

Speaking of people, the last weekend was a people weekend. Induction course, Teluk batik Resort, Lumut. About 15 of my ex-classmates were there, hailed from Perak, Penang and Kedah. As always, Inductions are saturated with boring lectures. Then again, we were put into nice hotels and free meals. Best of all, we get to hang around, hang out, laughed and chilled like the good old times. Chingku commented that we were like dental students again. Coz during lectures, people were sleeping, passing messages, playing iPhones/ PSPs, chatting, etc. Not eating alone is so much fun. We even went into the pool and played Captain Ball. The reunion wasn’t complete without a few rounds of Killer Game. Seeing them again is a great boost to my current situation. I haven’t spoken so much mandarin and cantonese since January. All the fun and cheer, the all expenses paid holidays 😉
I just came back today. I miss them already, but we’ll meet again.
Friends. People. Thank You, Lord.

More please =)

O hello~

When I was preparing dinner and wanted to let some air in… ta-dah

Did I not say, my house got a peeping Tom?

Well, I googled “How to potty train a poodle” because I wanted to potty train Dudu. One of the tips was… always confine your puppy when you can’t keep an eye on him. Always.

So for 10 days Dudu was with me, I locked him in my kitchen when I was out to work or run errands.

Probably during Dudu’s lock up, Tom came and visited him everyday…
Okay, I am talking nonsense and going bonkers.

Again

I came back from work, half expecting the noisy bark from within the house. Not anymore, today Dudu went back to his rightful owner, with Peter. He came and stayed with me at Slim River for 10 days already. A really great friend for a solituding soul in New Year 2010.

So, what exactly is Dudu?

That cute lil fella.
I now miss him jumping around and greet me when I return home. I miss scanning the floor if he peed or pooped. I miss feeding him, play ‘Up, Sit, Hand, Turn Around’ with him. I miss walking him in the morning and 11.15pm at night. I miss a furry friend lie asleep beneath my chair when I am typing on my laptop. When I move to another room, he would sleep walk and then continue sleeping where I settled down. I miss how he looked at me, as if he knows what’s going on behind my eyes.

=)
Move on, okie dokes. Peter can take better care of him.




I am alone again. This feeling is beginning to feel familiar.

My God is a God who answers prayers

(content will come after finality)

Dark Hour in Malaysia

12:33pm today, a pastor texted me.

Sad news. At 4am, some threw a home made kerosene explosive into Assumption Church compound. Molotov was thrown into the Good Shepherd Church compoung at 4am. The Metro Tabernacle Church in Desa Melawati was burnt at midnight. Most foreign media has filed the story by 2am. Hope it’s not part of a bigger attack on churches. Pray for peace.

What the….
I am utterly speechless. This, in Malaysia? Isn’t this a country which practices freedom of religion?

Quickly, I went into http://www.thestar.com.my for more information. Unbelievable…

The leaders of the nation urges the rakyat not to point fingers nor speculate, until current immediate investigations bears a lead. National leaders and rakyats of all walks of life: government or oppositions, Christians, Muslims, Indians condemn this incident. The leaders also told the nation to be calm and avoid mercury rising.

Many Muslim Malaysians expressed grief.
One commented ‘This could not be the work of a true Muslim. This is the work of extremists that never read the Q’uran.’
Another commented ‘Hey, we Muslim condemn this act. What we should do is to go to Metro Tabernacle Church and help them clean up the mess.’

I haven’t heard from any Christian leaders/pastors making noise in the media. I have no doubt that this saddens them to the core. How could anyone had such hatred towards the people of God, and very insultingly, hatred towards God? All this over the word Allah?

Me. I think this is stupidity. My immediate respond at Facebook was
‘Whoever it is, you’re just burning the building. When the people still remains together, that is what we call ‘church’.

The spirit of 1Malaysia is being put to test in Malaysia today.
As of now, we still don’t know who burnt the churches building and I am not one to speculate… but with tears in my eyes, my prayer is this
Father, forgive them. For they know not what they are doing. And Father, help Your people to stand united in this dark hour…

As I am typing this, another text came in.
Please remove rosaries and all religious articles from your cars now. They are smashing cars with Christian articles. Started all over Bangsar.
I wish this is not true… but then again, this is the world that Christ wanted to help, the world that He wanted to change, the world that He wanted to love… the world that nailed Him to the cross.

Psalm 13

How long, O God, will You forget me?
How long will You hide Your face from me?
How long, O God, will I wrestle with my thoughts?
And everyday have sorrow in my heart?
How long will my enemy triumph over me?

I look to the sky,
Wondering if it’s the same everywhere?
Is it going to rain?
There is a lil barn outside to care.

Everyday I open my eyes,
And take a good look around me,
What am I living for?
What is Your plan for me?

How long, O God,
Will You break this silence,
that’s screaming loudly in my head,
and in my heart, still the raging tempest.


Look on me and answer, O Lord my God.
Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death.

I was looking for answers,
But all I want now is Your presence,
Somewhere inside of me.. is fears,
that something else might fill the absence.

I’m proned to fall and run astray,
O Lord,take me by the hand and lead the way,
I am but a dump of clay,
Make me the perfect pot, with brokenness I pray.

Still I trust in Your unfailing love;
my heart rejoices in Your salvation.
I will sing to the Lord,
for He has been good to me.

Many things I don’t comprehend,
I have nothing else to cling on,
Only on Your truth I attempt to stand,
Lies and loneliness please be gone.

This warrior and armour-clad soldier,
With a sword she holds so dear,
What’s Your instructions,O Commander,
It had been silent, she really now longs to hear.

Battle footwear

Lemme begin by saying… Shoes with (stick-like) heels will need to see a cobbler after housing my feet for about 2 months. They are especially unsuitable for clinic Outpatient Days. So after 2 pairs of hacked heels due to battling Slim River outpatients, and a sprained ankle, I decided to forgo fashion for comfort.

Thus… the ol’ trustworthy Asadi-croc from Carrefour RM16.90.

They became my official working footwear. My favourite shoes for clinical work! Comfy, doesn’t look bad, nice =) now my feet are firmly planted on the ground when I’m battling firm 3-rooted molars.

When I came back to Slim River from holidays, I noticed the shoes were not arranged neatly. And the white Asadi shoes are dirty and black color! That’s weird, I remember washing them just coupla weeks ago. I probably dirtied them while planting some vegetables?

So I scrubbed them clean again. O the sole of the shoes, so black!
White shoes for clinic should be clean to give people that disinfected and clean impression.

And this morning, after a loooooong holiday break, I am back to work. Berkhidmat untuk rakyat Slim River. I slipped on the white Asadi shoes and immediately felt the tight discomfort.
Did the sunshine shrink my shoes?

I liked the shoes for the comfort, space and breathability. Now they’re just constricting and I rather walk in lil heels. Then almost suddenly, it dawned on me…

HONG SIEW LENG !!

Dang. For laughing out loud.
It all made sense now. The haphazard arrangements, the dirty appearances… The tight fit.
Coz they are not mine! Lolz, dear ol sopo Siew Leng punya! Siew Leng must had mistaken my neat and clean shoes as hers… and brought them back. O my battle footwear~ =)

So I bought myself another pair of size 6 Asadi croc shoes. Blue color this time =)